Monday, February 28, 2011

Dear Claire

Dear Claire,

I'm so sorry about Bado, sweet girl.  Difficult enough to lose one grandmother in a year.  Flat out not fair to lose two.  I know you are a full grown adult now, but as I have discovered, being "all grown up" doesn't mean diddly when you are grieving a grandparent...especially in a close knit family like ours.

I still look at Nonnie's picture nearly every day and ask her, "Where did you go?"  Still hard not to bawl my head off. 

I know, I know...when do I try to start to make you feel better? 

I know you must know this but--be strong in the knowledge that Bado was so proud of you.  She loved being your grandmother.  Your achievements were special to her.  Talk to her often; I talk to Nonnie all the time.  It's a little bit funny, especially when I do it around Mom and it makes us both laugh. 

Revel in what makes you like her, things that will keep you close to her always...even things you may have thought of as flaws before...like the Mott girl big legs I got.  I have a slightly different appreciation for them now because Nonnie had them, too.  I say slightly.  I wouldn't mind having legs more like, say, your mom instead though...she didn't get the Mott girl big legs.  Lucky. 

Collect stories about her.  That's one thing I regret about my Granny, Dad's mom.  I know that she was a very sweet lady who died of lung cancer.  So--love much, be nice to people and don't smoke.  That's what I know about my Dad's mother.  But she died almost 35 years ago.  No one talks about her much now.  I don't hear stories about her. 

Maybe that's something that you and I can do.  Collect stories about our grandmothers.  Someday, Mitchel and you will both have children who will want to know about both of your grandmothers.  Your Facebook page for the grandmothers is a great start.  We just need to add to it. 

We can keep them with us with a little work.  And they are definitely worth it.  They would have done (and did) anything for us.  Remember? 

For now, I hope you have peace knowing how loved you are.  Sending you a big hug. 

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