Conference Time

Ok, I'll admit it.  I'm not the most patient with professional learning.  I rarely feel that I take much away from whatever meeting I am forced to sit through, no matter what kind of pep talk I give myself beforehand. 

"C'mon, Heather--just find one thing you can take back to the classroom/campus."

"Do you have any idea how much work you have waiting on you when you get back?  You are hoping for one tiny thing to take back when you have a stack of papers to grade in addition to chasing down kids and calling parents for the teachers on the Lifeguard Chain of Command?" 

"Heather....fake it until you make it.  That's all I have.  Now turn that frown upside down and quit rolling your eyes.  They may get stuck like that." 

Now, mind you, this is just the pep talk I give myself in the mirror of the hotel room, the bathroom, whatever.  Nevermind what my friend the principal sent with me to make me behave will have to tell me. 

I exaggerate...a little.  But I am not a big fan of  professional "learning." 

So, when I had to trundle off to Houston last week for two days, I was already apprehensive about what I might learn (or not).  It isn't that I go in to these meetings expecting NOT to learn.  I am hungry for it, just as my own students are, but it is the rare presenter shares their information in a meaningful way. 

Add to that, I was nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs leaving Brian for the first time during his illness.  I knew that it would be extremely unlikely for something to happen to Brian, but his pre-cancer history has taught me that if he is going to get sick or hurt, he will do it when I am out of town and can do nothing about it.  (Food poisoning and a car accident)

So, I may have been a little cranky on that business trip and American Eagle did nothing to help on the trip from Fort Worth to Houston.  (one hour and a half late leaving--an hour of that sitting on the plane...good times!) 

I try to be very aware my attitudes and moods...especially these days as stress continues to mount, but many times the stress monster has already struck before I can realize it.  I find myself apologizing a lot these days.  I feel like I need to just be silent most of the time. 

I don't explode or anything, but I am sometimes a little testier than I want to be.  Those of you who are around me more frequently are saying to me right now--"You can't be perfect, Princess." 

But if you do know me, you know I'm a recovering a perfectionist....

The good news about the trip to Houston is that I did get to see a very inspirational presentation while I was there.  The presenters made me feel good about what I do each day.  That's the kind of professional development to travel for.