It's a lot of hurry up and wait. There are rows and rows of chairs with men and women of all ages sitting patiently, hooked up to their IVs. The nurses are soft-spoken and full of gentle humor to try to make this surreal situation more bearable. Everyone has a peaceful look. You can't help but wonder the prognosis for some of the weaker looking patients. Will Brian look that weak before he is all better?
It was hard not to cry at first. It's finally all very real. Brian is the super hero he always is. Didn't even fall asleep during his Benadryl treatment.
We are here so long today that we watch as people finish and go on their way. I wonder if and when they will feel the effects. When will Brian feel them?
We have 10 more days until his hair falls out. Honestly, that freaks me out the most. I'm not sure why. I know it's fashionable for guys to be bald. I suppose it signifies to me that he really is sick and we really are fighting something awful. He won't look like my Brian...or will he? I keep watching him, trying to decide.
I hope I look braver on the outside than I feel on the inside. I have no doubt that Brian will be in remission in a few months. I've honestly never doubted that. It's the journey to remission that's scaring the hell out of me at the moment.
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